


Remember Me

by juhaal



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: A trip to hell omg, Always free will, Amenadiel's guilt trip on a cell, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deckerstar is endgame, Drama & Romance, F/M, I just thought Chloe should know the truth already, Kind of wing reveal?, Lucifer doesn't remember Chloe, So cool to write, So overrated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 03:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juhaal/pseuds/juhaal
Summary: “Which do you prefer, Samael?” The strong male voice echoed through the white walls. “Chloe’s safety, or your free will.”There was never a choice to begin with.In which Chloe must deal with the truth she had been shielding herself from or never see Lucifer again.





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I guess being frustrated with the show makes my inner ficwriter agonize and begg to be set free, so I did this. First I imagined it as an oneshot, but it was getting too long and for dramatic effects I decided to split it in two. The second part is already writen ;)
> 
> Hope you guys like it! 
> 
> (PS: I will continue 'A Second Chance', for those who are reading it. Its really taking too long, i know, but i'm working on it, I promise <3)

**I.**

“Which do you prefer, Samael?” The strong male voice echoed through the white walls, opulent, making everything around them tremble while frozen in time.

“Luci…” Amenadiel whispered with shared agony, not liking what was happening in the least. 

“You bastard…” Lucifer cursed and closed his dark brown eyes with force, blinking hard against the tears of rage and despair, a tiny demonstration of rebellion against his options. “What is the _point_? What is your big plan?” He asked weakly, frustrated, trying to understand the purpose of it all. Why torture him this much? Why go to such lengths to control him?

“Father’s plans are his own to know, brother.” Raphael’s voice pronounced lowly, contained, like he too wasn’t happy with it all, but he had to have faith. He had to believe that his Father aimed for the greater good. The Archangel stood beside Chloe’s bed, the promising offer of saving the Detective pressuring Lucifer without difficulty. He was the only option, after all. Not even his feathers had achieved to cure Chloe.

“You must choose, son.” His Father’s voice boomed from everywhere, a presence on every particle of Earth. His omnipotence and omnipresence pushing him from every direction, reminding him who his Father was. “Chloe’s safety, or your free will.”

Was it so wrong to have free will?

Lucifer shook his head not wanting to make a choice at all, because he just _knew_ there would be a catch. It was just like that between them. It wouldn’t be a clean trade, he could bet that something worse would happen – to him, probably. However, when his dark eyes fell on the Detective’s figure, so fragile and lifeless on that hospital bed, in a condition that human medicine would never bring a solution to…

There was never a choice to begin with.

“You already know my answer.” The Devil said, breathing deeply while engraving Chloe’s face on his mind. Trying despairingly to be strong _for her_ … For her child, too. After all, Beatrice needed her mother. And, of course, Chloe wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for him – _if it wasn’t for_ _his family drama_. She would have been safe from the start. She would have been safe from all divinity and its capacity to destroy humanity in so many ways. “I choose Chloe’s safety.” He muttered brokenly, with unshed tears, his big hand trembling so slightly.

He had lost.

Amenadiel closed his eyes, not wanting to be a witness of this cruelty anymore. His powers had been restored _for this moment_ , but he was torn between accepting his part on Lucifer’s test or being the big brother the fallen angel deserved – a better one.

Raphael’s hands started to glow a pure white light while he looked saddened to Lucifer, his healing abilities crying to heal the Devil too.

After a few seconds of silence, God pronounced with fatality. “Very well.”

And in a flash, Lucifer was back to his Throne on Hell.

Without a single memory from his last years on Earth.

Only knowing that he had made a deal with God, and that he must rule Hell to keep his word.

And his word was his bond.

**-**

**-**

**-**

It was like waking up after a long time being asleep. The body started to readapt itself to the surroundings, the sensations returned one by one and the thoughts, initially slurred, started to stumble on each other, creating a mess of questions and confusion on a mind that was shut off for God knows how long.

Her blue eyes opened so slowly that if she wasn’t used to being in the hospital, Chloe would have been very much anxious. Her irises reacted strongly to the ceiling light, contracting with the first ray of white light that reached their surface. She blinked a few times, readjusting herself to this stimulus. The scent of antiseptics mixed with _home_ reached her nostrils, and then her extremities appeared on her mind eye, like every little nerve was being turned on in slow motion.

Then, the warm body besides her on the hospital bed made she look to her left. The dark brown hair she would always know obstructed her view from the little face pressed against her shoulder, but together with the scent she memorized after seconds of finally picking this little person on her arms – she just knew it was Trixie, her little monkey.

She was connected to so many things that she marveled how her amazing child achieved to lay beside her without causing trouble.

“Trixie…?” She tried to call, but her throat felt raw and dry. Chloe looked around, searching for a way to call the nurses. She needed water.

Weakly, she reached for the button right at the head of her bed and pushed it.

“Oh my god!” The first nurse exclaimed, jumping in surprise when she reached the door of the room and saw Chloe awake. “Doctor Brian!” And as soon as she arrived, she left, running after the said doctor.

The word _miracle_ was recited a thousand times after that.

-

-

The days passed, and Chloe felt disappointed with Lucifer’s missing status. She was already home for a couple of days, but there was still no sign of him. Everyone had been present during her recovery, each of them taking turns on taking care of her – even if the blonde woman vehemently told them it wasn’t necessary – but neither he or Maze, for that matters, showed up at least once.

It was hard to accept it. She had been at the brink of death, apparently. Medicine had already tried everything it got to cure her body, assailed by something the doctors never saw on any academical literature. And nothing had worked.

Until she just got better.

She had been told repeatedly about her recovery, how unexpected and impossible it seemed to be and how it occurred without a reasonable explanation. It had been defined as a miracle, like something like that really existed.

And now, at home, laying on her bed with Trixie latched to her like a little octopus, she stared mindlessly ahead trying to understand where Lucifer could be.

After all, she too had been told how worried, devoted and desperate he had been while staying by her side for every little moment.

Then, why he ran off again?

-

-

She appeared on Lux, expecting to see the house filled with drunk people; however, to her surprise, it was empty and dark, like it hadn’t been open for a few days.

With trepidation and nervousness, she went to the penthouse. She was sweating, suddenly afraid of what she would see. Memories of a penthouse full of sheets and dust, empty of light and life – everything that Lucifer brought to the ambient only by being there – flushed back to her mind, like it happened the last time he run off. When the ding of the elevator sounded, shattering the silence that was freezing her inside out, she took a deep breath and entered Lucifer’s house.

And it wasn’t full of sheets, no.

It was all destroyed.

Not even his grand piano survived, demolished to the ground with its keys scattered all around. All his bottles were broken, and its shards were covering every inch of the counter near where the shelf had been. The smell of alcohol filled the environment, making her nauseous, and the liquid that had been spilled all over the floor was clearly making the ground sticky. At every step, her boots crushed wood and glass pieces of his furniture and looking at it all made Chloe’s heart beat madly inside of her chest.

“Lucifer?!” She called, worried sick. Last time she remembered him on an auto-destructive vibe, he almost got himself shot by a sniper. What had happened now? “Lucifer!”

“… He is not here.” A female voice said without any emotion, the sound coming from his bedroom darkened with all the curtains closed and a broken sofa blocking its view. “He is never coming back, actually.”

Chloe felt her eyes filling with tears, while her hands started to shake. “Maze?” She asked, confused. She had wondered why her roommate hadn’t visited her either, but somehow it had made sense to think that her friend had been on a bounty hunt to mask her feelings… Maze was even worse than Lucifer on that regard, really.

“Surprise.” Maze answered, her dead tone creating shivers on Chloe’s spine. “What do you want?”

Chloe continued to approach the room, reaching the door and trying to look over the couch. She wanted to see the other woman, to understand what was happening with her. “Maze, where were you? Were you here all this time?”

“No shit Sherlock.” Maze answered, muffled by the cushion she was pushing her head on. “What are you doing here, Decker?”

Chloe bit her lip, looking around and trying real hard to not let the tears fall. “I was worried. I hadn’t seen neither you or Lucifer since I woke up. And now, seeing this place like this…”

“He is gone.” Maze declared toneless, rising from the bed and walking with heavy steps to where Chloe was. The blonde woman took a few steps back just as the Demon with only one hand caught the sofa up and throwed it on the piano’s direction, creating a bit more of destruction and making the Detective flinch with the noise.

“What do you mean… He is gone?” She couldn’t believe neither her ears nor her eyes.

“Exactly what I meat to say, he is gone. Left to never come back.” The Demon looked around the penthouse mindlessly, not caring much to how Chloe was taking the news. “His dear old Dad gave him two choices, and between your safety and leaving, we already know which he chose.” She drawled, going to the broken shelf and looking for a bottle that still held some liquor inside it.

“What?”

“And I was left behind. Not that he deserved much from me after this last year, but we are still friends. In this situation, I wanted to go with him, to protect him… Who knows, maybe help him come back only to defy his precious Daddy.” Maze complained bitterly, ignoring the blonde’s question while finding an old scotch only half broken and with golden liquid on the bottom.

“What are you talking about?” Chloe asked, feeling more and more confused at every word that left the other’s mouth. “His father threatened me? Protect him from what, Maze?”

The Demon searched for a cup that wasn’t destroyed yet, focusing on drinking first and answering questions later. The silence stretched, being interrupted only by the sounds that Maze was doing with the bottle and the glass she now was filling to the top.

“Maze!” Chloe exclaimed shakily, the nervousness eating her up.

The Demon stopped with the cup near her mouth, frozen, her mind going far away. Then she resumed what she was going to do, drinking it all in one gulp.

“I’m tired of your denial, Decker.” Maze said quietly, looking at the bottom of the glass she was holding, now very much empty. “When you feel ready to accept the truth we have been telling you since day one, come back and we will have a little chat. Until then, don’t bother. You don’t deserve what he did for you, not while you still believe we are delusional.” And the Demon looked straight at Chloe for the first time since the Detective found her on Lucifer’s bed. Her brown eyes held a storm of emotions that her voice didn’t show one bit.

Chloe left.

Feeling dizzy and suddenly very desperate.

-

-

She tried to not think about what Maze had said. Her mind tried to be occupied with other things, refusing to think about what the other woman could possible have meant.

She spent the whole day organizing her things, preparing herself to return to work. When Trixie arrived from school she spent her time with the child, trying to reassure her daughter of her wellbeing. Her little monkey was still afraid of loosing her after this apparent close call, and Chloe couldn’t really blame her.

However, when they were ready to sleep on Chloe’s bed, with her little girl hugging her tightly while snoring softly, the blonde woman couldn’t hold back Maze’s words.

She knew what the other woman had meant.

It was impossible. She couldn’t believe anything of that, it was just nonsense.

But why her resolve kept weakening bit by bit?

-

-

Being back in the precinct helped Chloe distract herself. Besides all the paperwork and the new case that was designed to her, being back to socializing with her coworkers had been amazing. Until, of course, she noticed the looks her lonely figure was receiving. The big elephant in the room kept poking her with every sympathetic look, and she knew they weren’t compassionate about only her near-death experience.

Everyone was used to Lucifer’s exuberance, and everyone had seen how he had acted through all the time of her hospitalization – something she wished she had seen too, judging the fact that he had ran away so soon after she got better, it was kind of hard to picture his worry and devotion like everyone was picturing it. However, his absence since her recovery apparently had made everyone mad at the guy too.

“Decker!” A male voice called, and when Chloe looked up she saw Marcus Pierce approaching her desk with a little smile on his face. “I’m glad you are back. I was worried for a bit.” He added, his eyes twinkling with a flirtatious light. The blonde woman gaped, her own eyes as big as ping pong balls, staring unbelievingly at the Lieutenant.

“Sir! Hum, it’s good to be back.” She stuttered, confused with the turn of events. She remembered vividly how he turned her down the other time. “Now everything is okay, thank you for your worry.”

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” He offered, leaving for his office soon after.

She stared, mesmerized by him.

Then Lucifer’s face appeared on her mind, reminding her of him and making her a bit guilty for desiring Pierce while he was missing to supposedly protect her from his father.

_“I’m tired of your denial, Decker.”_

Maze’s words echoed on her ears, making Chloe bite her bottom lip with frustration – something she was doing frequently without noticing. She tried to focus on the case’s files again, despairingly trying to pretend nothing of this was really happening.

And she failed miserably.

-

-

At night, after Trixie was already sleep, Chloe immersed herself inside her own mind. There was no way that it could all be true. She was sure it was all some elaborate metaphor that Lucifer and Maze liked to make everyone believe, like some inside joke. No matter how harsh Maze’s words had been, Chloe couldn’t believe in anything they have ever said about that Devil nonsense. Lucifer _the_ Lucifer? Maze, a demon from hell? Yeah, right.

She had been mindlessly drinking a glass of wine, refusing to let herself believe in what Maze had insinuated, when out of thin air Amenadiel appeared in the middle of her living room. He had appeared inside her house without invitation _with the house locked all around from the inside_.

She was sure of it, because Chloe was the one to lock it all up.

“Amenadiel?!” She jumped from the couch, surprised and shocked with his sudden appearance. The rest of the wine on her glass splashed on her carpet and even that disastrous thing didn’t gather her attention. Lucifer’s brother had just appeared out of nothing inside her locked house – and for some reason Maze’s words kept repeating themselves inside her head more loudly than never. “What…?” She stuttered, going to the front door and confirming it was still locked. The blonde woman stared at the man with a sudden fear she could not explain, a fear that demanded that she ran away from whatever he could say. “How did you get in?” Her voice shook, finding herself frozen on the spot with indecision of what to do.

“Chloe…” Amenadiel sighed, looking down to his feet like someone too afraid to look her on the eyes. “I made a terrible mistake keeping the truth from you.” He continued, and Chloe gasped – no, the tone of his voice didn’t show fear, it showed shame!

A dark feeling crept inside the Detective, suffocating her from inside out.

“What did you do?” She asked, despairingly searching within her mind the location of her gun. Her mind kept yelling at her to get away _get the hell away-_ “And how the hell did you get in?”

He flinched, and she didn’t know if from her tone of from her words. He breathed deeply, clenching his fists until his finger joints were painfully white. “I am sorry, _so sorry_ …” Amenadiel choked, still refusing to look at her. “I lied to you. I thought I was doing the right thing, keeping you blissfully ignorant of divinity… And I was _so_ wrong! Oh, Father!” He said, making her confusion bubble up even more inside of her mind. The black man seemed filled of guilt, wrenching guilt that apparently was tearing him apart second by second. And my God, was he talking about the same bullshit his brother and her roommate talked about all the time? “You should have known the truth since the beginning, and now I can see how this all can not be only Lucifer utmost test. This _must_ be yours!” He continued frantically, passing his hands over his face with agitation, and _finally_ staring at her with desperate dark eyes so full of emotion that Chloe couldn’t stop the image of Maze’s eyes from being conjured from her memories.

Chloe felt her breath stuck on her throat, fear and trepidation filling her whole. This wasn’t like Amenadiel at all. His calmness and confidence were gone. It didn’t seem like he was trying to convince _her_ of what the hell he was talking about, but _himself_. She took some steps around the man, going for the direction of her bedroom and keeping her mind focused on getting her gun and taking control of the situation. She didn’t like how frantic he appeared to be, nor how his words ringed her self-preservation bells with so much force. She couldn’t handle this all without a sense of control. Her mind kept screaming for her to run, but her body seemed to have a mind of his own.

“Amenadiel, I don’t know what the hell is happening and why you are here – not even HOW you got in, I might add. But you _must leave_. _Now_.” She cursed herself for not keeping her voice without shaking. She was a big girl, a Detective no less, she knew how to handle people on edge! _If she only had her gun…_

“You _must_ know what we did, what we forced Lucifer to do!” He pleaded, no, implored.

That made Chloe stop on her tracks momentarily.

“What?” She murmured, feeling the fight-or-flight reaction of her body choosing the fight option. All her instincts were telling her to get away, to get out of there and save herself and her baby, asleep on her room. But hearing Lucifer’s name made her mind freeze on her whining, forcing her whole being to stand put where she was. To fight back, to discover what happened – to know why her best friend wasn’t with her for the past couple weeks.

The Detective inside of her refused to cower before knowing the truth.

“We forced his hand – no, _Father_ did. Father made him choose between himself and you, and he obviously chose you…” Amenadiel babbled incoherently, starting to pace around her living room. “Oh Brother, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t had let my powers get to my head!” He continued, holding his head between his hands and ignoring Chloe completely.

“Amenadiel!” Chloe called him, nervous and impatient, with a demanding voice that made the tall man stop his pacing. “What is happening? What happened with Lucifer?” She tried to make sense of everything he had been saying. The powers nonsense would not deter her of discovering where Lucifer was. “And why _now_ out of all times you showed up here? I’ve been out of the hospital for a bit of time, already. If you were so worried about your brother, why not come earlier?”

He slowly looked at her with a dejection not common of him. Somehow, Chloe never expected to see Amenadiel so _small_ like that. He had always acted even more prideful than Lucifer, a bigger peacock-jackass-kind-of man, which should have been impossible taking in consideration Lucifer’s capacity of vanity and self-confidence.

“I shouldn’t be here at all.” He murmured, rolling his shoulders self-consciously. “I’ve been fighting with myself for the last couple weeks, thinking about what I should do… _Who_ I should disappoint. And truly, I’m tired of letting Luci down! Once upon a time, maybe I would have said that he got what he deserved, _but now_ …” He chortled a self-depreciating laugh. “Now I see that not one single person of my family deserves my brother. He gives his all, and we keep hurting him over and over…”

Chloe’s heart started beating even faster within her chest. Amenadiel wasn’t answering her questions. And somehow, she only kept getting even more worried with Lucifer than before.

“Amenadiel. Look. Listen to me.” She tried to get his attention. “I don’t know what happened, but everything will be okay. It’s not too late to ask for forgiveness, or even to change the way you act for the better.” Despite the tremor on her voice, the strength of her tone was enough to make him stop and listen. And then, the other man looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. Like he thought about the solution that could solve everything.

Somehow, her flight instincts returned tenfold.

“You are right.” He agreed. “It’s not too late to change things, to correct my mistakes. Just like you humans likes to say: better late than never, right?” Amenadiel laughed, and she couldn’t identify the emotion behind it. “There is something you need to see, Chloe. Maybe that way you will believe in what your mind keeps trying to protect itself from.”

And nothing could have prepared her for what came next. Her resolute rational way of thinking, her own axis of what is true and what is not would not be ever the same. Everything was changed beyond repair in one single second, and she was so far from being ready for that, _so far_ …

A pair of beautiful, majestic, big grey-ish wings appeared on Amenadiel’s back, knocking a few things to the ground.

-

-

“Wow.” Trixie’s voice shattered the intense silence.

Chloe had been staring at Amenadiel’s wings with her mouth open on a silent scream. Her hands, before searching for the handle of her bedroom’s door intent of getting her gun, now were in front of her mouth, desperately trying to suffocate the screams that never came.

And then, her daughter was awake and staring too at his wings, but not in fear or craziness devotion – just fascination.

“Are those for real?” She asked curiously, approaching the man with wonder. “Look mom, Amenadiel is an angel!” And Trixie looked at Chloe while pointing to the black man, like it was all normal and happened every day. Like saying something like that aloud and knowing it for the truth didn’t change every perception she had of her world.

And in truth, it didn’t.

“Yes, Trixie.” Amenadiel agreed, sounding worried and uncomfortable. “I really am.”

“That’s cool!” Trixie cried excitedly while crossing her arms with mirth all written over her little face. “So, you had a thing for a demon, huh?”

Sometimes Chloe wondered how Trixie could be so smart.

And that question made out of nowhere and definitely unexpected disarmed Amenadiel for real. 

“Wh-wha-How?” He spluttered, clearly embarrassed and flustered. Her baby just giggled.

“I thought Maze was only dressed up for Halloween, but it shouldn’t be possible even for her to do that kind of make-up so fast.” She pondered, tapping her index finger on her chin pensively.

“Monkey…” Chloe finally found her voice again, full of shakiness. “Baby… Get over here, please…” She pleaded.

She didn’t want her baby so near Amenadiel.

“Chloe-“ And he understood that clearly.

“Shut up.” She barked, watching Trixie jump in surprise. “Shut up. I don’t want to hear a thing from you, Amenadiel.”

“Mom…” Trixie called quietly, finally noticing how Chloe wasn’t so thrilled with this new knowledge like she had been.

“Come here, Monkey…” Chloe called, desperate. “Please…”

“But Mom, Amenadiel is an angel. He is a good guy!” Trixie complained, seeing on Chloe’s face the motivations to call for her.

“Obey, Beatrice.” She responded, seeing how her only child’s eyes got bigger than ever with her use of Trixie’s full name. Her daughter approached her quietly after that. “Get out of here, Amenadiel.” She growled, incapable of keeping her stance. Her body and mind were crumbling with all this, her convictions, her whole life’s beliefs – everything was being torn into pieces.

He needed to go _now_!

And the angel could see on her frenzied eyes that it was no use to stay. She would search for him when she was ready, he was sure of it.

In a flush of feathers, he vanished.

Leaving behind a single feather that would prove to Chloe that this whole ordeal had been real.

-

-

He had told her from the beginning.

That visage, of flames in the place of his eyes and of flesh burned, had been his true appearance.

_“What are you?”_

_“I’ve been trying to tell you, I’m the Devil.”_

She didn’t understand how she could have hurt him when she shot him, but now she could see all the signs she had written off. His super strength, grabbing people bigger than him with only one hand, throwing them through glass like they weighted nothing.

Their first case together, when she got shot and he took so many bullets like it had been nothing.

_“He was firing at you. Why aren’t you… More dead?”_

_“You’re having a very hard time with the immortality thing, aren’t you?”_

She sobbed, thinking about that night of terror with Malcom.

_“I thought he killed you.”_

_“Oh, he did! Yes... I got better.”_

He had been shot, he had bled. He had died. And he had returned and saved her and her little monkey.

“Mommy…” Trixie murmured.

All their memories were jumping messily inside her mind, things she didn’t remember so vividly since it all happened, but that somehow were making themselves known again triggered by Amenadiel’s wings – the proof that divinity really existed.

_“Oh, look who is back… You didn’t die, after all. “_

When she was poisoned. When she almost died, again. The antidote formula was dead together with that mad professor, and Lucifer had got it for her.

“ _That makes one of us!”_

A broken wail escaped her throat, something even she couldn’t recognize like her own. Trixie sobbed too, worried beyond here little mind. She ran from the room, but Chloe couldn’t think, she couldn’t function. How she could help her little monkey if her world had been chattered beyond repair, and her reality seemed unreal?

_“Someone stole my wings, Detective!”_

Wings white as fluffy clouds, beautiful, even more than Amenadiel’s. A replica, he had said – but beautiful nonetheless.

His back. Moon shaped scars.

_“What- Lucifer, your back-?”_

_“Don’t, please.”_

His vulnerability. The first time she saw it.

_“I never lied to you, and I will never lie to you.”_

She gasped, crying so much that she felt out of air.

Strong arms surrounded her, but Chloe didn’t care. She knew this embrace, she knew that probably it was the first person her little monkey thought of calling, and still she couldn’t care about the security and support Dan’s arms were weakly and slowly infusing into her.

She could only think of Lucifer.

_“I had an epiphany of sorts... You deserve someone worthy of you, and that isn’t me.”_

Somehow, every hurt sound scaping her weren’t so much for the fact that Lucifer really was the Devil, or how her world wasn’t how she thought it was anymore. Maybe, in the beginning, it was just because of that, yes; but she didn’t know how or when during this breakdown, while everything just _hurt so much_ , she started to remember _him_ for who he really was.

_“This is real, isn’t it?_ ”

She sobbed hard, her wails becoming more and more broken. Distantly she could hear Dan’s hushing sounds, his way of trying to calm her; and even Trixie’s little sobs, something she had never wanted to cause. But she could only focus on every little thing that appeared on her mind, every little memory.

_“Detective! Hello, it’s me, Lucifer… Hum, I just wanted to apologize for being so… Hum, well, for being so elusive. But, I also wanted to say that I’m done hiding. So, I’m coming over now to tell you the truth about me… ‘Cause I think it’s time I finally open your eyes to why strange things sometimes happen around me. Why my brother is so saintly, and Maze is so not. And I’m so, well, magnetic!”_

She didn’t care about the truth, or how everything she believed to be an ancient fantasy was actually true after all. She had adapted herself for so many things in her life, she could adapt again.

_“No, seriously, I want to tell you everything. No more going backwards.”_

She just needed him, because he had sacrificed himself for her so many times… And she had never known. She would never get to know, because he cared about her more than himself and he really didn’t aim for her to know it. He didn’t want the credits or the glory, he just wanted to keep her safe.

Somehow, he had so many problems and issues and he had tried nonetheless.

He had wanted to move forward, and they never got to.

-

-

She took a leave from work.

For a couple of days, she just absorbed it all. She cried, she slept, she stayed inside her own mind – the Detective mind that depicted everything in layers of evidence and logic, creating a mental flow chart that united everything that Lucifer had ever said or done. She couldn’t understand it all by herself, but at least she could organize every question she had for Amenadiel or even Maze.

And she had done it.

And even under Dan and Trixie’s contestations, she hardened her resolve and got up from bed ready to search her answers.

-

-

She couldn’t explain it, but she knew Maze would be there. Lucifer seemed emotional about the place too, and her instincts pulled her here.

The only thing she didn’t expect was that Amenadiel would be there too.

Her boots made so much noise walking over the sand that she could see the moment they heard her – right when both of them tensed, their backs to her flinching in unison. She stopped right beside the big angel, looking ahead just like both were doing. Enjoying the sun light reflecting on the ocean, the same beach Lucifer once told her he arrived on, the same beach they shared their first kiss.

They stayed in silence, the air filled with intensity and expectation.

“Everything makes sense now.” She said offhand-ly, proud of herself for the stability of her voice and how cool she sounded. “You are a crazy roommate, Maze.”

The demon snorted, a bit surprised with the blonde woman. “For all I know, you are just a prude, Decker.” And bickered back, feeling a great weight lifting from her shoulders.

“Yeah, right.” Chloe laughed, signing soon after. She didn’t need to compare herself to a demon to find out that she was a prude indeed. “So, what happened?” She asked, wanting to understand what the hell had happened on the last month.

She could feel Maze staring at Amenadiel with contempt. It was coming off her in waves.

“Amenadiel’s _Daddy_ created a situation and with this dumbass’ help they put you under a divine disease.” If she didn’t have had the time to digest everything, that sentence alone would have sent her in denial _hard_. “They don’t tire of making Lucifer suffer, it’s their main celestial hobby!” She growled with her teeth bared.

Chloe looked at the big guy too trying to not judge. She could feel he was ashamed.

“Well?” She prompted.

“Dad returned to me my powers.” Amenadiel started softly. “I was too happy to think anything about it.”

“Tsk.” Maze rolled her eyes. “So pushy, seriously!” And murmured angrily.

“And then he asked me to stop time at a certain date and hour.” Chloe looked at him quizzically, trying to wrap her mind around that concept. Amenadiel wasn’t only an angel, with wings and such, he could stop time too. Oh well. “I couldn’t fathom he was sending one of my brothers to curse you.” When he ended, she could only gape while hearing Maze growling.

She didn’t know what to feel about that. God had sent an angel to curse her.

What the hell.

“Well, that’s drastic.” She commented sardonically, staring at the blue sky with a raised eyebrow.

“And then, a few days later, you were sick. Real sick.” Amenadiel murmured, clearly suffering with his own memories. “And Luci was getting worried and worried, because he could see something was wrong. Human medicine didn’t know a thing about your sickness, and they kept searching and returning empty handed. He knew you were going to die.”

Chloe felt her throat constrict, tears threatening to fill her blue eyes. She could imagine Lucifer’s despair. He had been through this kind of situation other times, didn’t he? Seeing her almost die and having to intervene to stop it.

Only this time he didn’t know what the threat had been. How could he help her, if he didn’t know what was killing her in the first place?

“Then, he prayed for Raphael.” The angel continued, closing his dark eyes with pain and shame all written over his face. If she wasn’t already so enthralled with every word, she would have wondered if Raphael was _the_ Archangel Raphael. “It was exactly what Father expected him to do. And when Raphael descended on Earth, Father asked me to go with him to Lucifer… And to stop time, again.”

Maze started to pace, agitated. “I saw everyone frozen, and I just knew something was up.” She growled. “But I couldn’t reach them in time!” She seethed.

“And what happened, then?” Chloe asked, with more confidence than she felt. Her voice was so low that she was sure they couldn’t have heard it over the crash of the waves.

“Raphael would cure you if Luci did what Father asked of him.” Amenadiel’s hand covered his face, hiding his sadness and agony from the two women. “And Father explained everything that happened, everything he did to bring Lucifer to that moment. And offered him: your life or Luci’s free will.”

Chloe’s heart bumped hard against her ribcage. She felt her pulse on her ears, her head following her heart’s rhythm with such an intensity that she felt like throwing up. Suddenly, the world became darker, and her body started trembling from all the emotions she could see passing through Lucifer. It was getting harder and harder to breath.

She wanted to cry.

“… Why?” She croaked, feeling suffocated with her own despair.

The silence stretched. Her harsh breaths the only companion to the sound of the ocean. Even Maze was silent, solemn, with her arms crossed and with her back to Chloe and Amenadiel.

“He wanted to test Luci.” The angel whispered, letting his hand fall and looking at her with pained and haunted eyes. “But Father knew what he would choose. It was clear for anyone that had eyes! And yet he still did it. He made Lucifer choose between you, the most important person of his life, and his free will, the very thing he rebelled for so long ago that caused his expulsion from heaven and made him into Hell’s Lord!” He balled his fists at his sides, frustration and rage showing clearly on the tremors that shook his body. “Father did something cruel… And he made me help him. All because our family still thinks Lucifer is evil and selfish!”

Her hand acted on her own. One moment, she was listening with growing sadness and horror, and the next she was slapping the man on the face with outrage and rage.

She knew the man appeared to disagree with their family, but she knew too that at some moment Amenadiel had said those words to Lucifer too many times.

They stayed in silence. Chloe’s hand covered her mouth, and she gave her back to the other two. She was crying again.

_“So, were you trying to get yourself killed?”_

When he provoked the sniper to shoot him.

_“No, I don’t buy it. Every time you say that you don’t care, or you’re evil or you’re the Devil, I know that’s not who you really are!”_

_“You don’t know a thing about who I am, Detective, or what I have done!”_

He wanted to be punished. Something had happened, and those words spoke volumes about the way he saw himself. His suffering had been so obvious, and he wouldn’t talk to her.

He couldn’t, could he? She really wouldn’t ever understand.

_“I think he would be proud of you… Why are you crying?”_

She laughed wetly, remembering how naïve he could be sometimes. He had said the most beautiful thing after her father murderer’s trial fiasco, and he couldn’t understand her tears of gratitude.

“Your family is a twisted bunch.” She whispered, trying to clean her tears with her hands. “Lucifer is difficult, sure; kind of a whore sometimes, has no boundaries whatsoever, is so overconfident about everything that is infuriating sometimes…” She snorted, looking to the horizon while reminiscing. “But he cares. He cares a lot. And he is afraid of it, of his feelings, because one day he wanted to be his own man and he couldn’t; and his family, that he loved, condemned him to a life of servitude torturing and punishing every evil soul of Earth because he fought for what he wanted.” Chloe knew he wasn’t completely innocent, even if she didn’t know in what to believe. The bible? But every memory of Lucifer’s comments about hell, God and his _job_ as punisher of Evil, she could see the person he was and how the punishment _he_ got had marked him in so many ways. “He did what God wanted for thousands of years. I don’t know why he came to Los Angeles six years ago, but after a life time of servitude, a few years here wasn’t much to ask.”

She felt Maze’s eyes on her and somehow, she just knew the Demon was proud of every word that left her mouth.

“I didn’t know you had it in you, Decker.” Maze whistled. Chloe rolled her eyes.

“Your family, Amenadiel, doesn’t know Lucifer at all.” She ended, finally looking back at him and seeing with surprise the angel crying. “Where is he now?” She asked softly, knowing she wouldn’t like the answer.

Maze frowned, evading her eyes.

“In hell.” Amenadiel whispered, and Chloe felt a shiver run down her spine. Somehow, without the man saying it, she knew there was more to it – and that something was wrong, _so wrong_. “Without his memories of you… Of anything he lived here in LA for the last six years.”

Something inside Chloe broke. Just, broke in a thousand tiny pieces.

With the determination she was known to, she made a decision. Some answers she could get later, now she had to do something first.

Lucifer had been there for her countless times, saving her time after time. He had sacrificed himself enough.

Now it was her turn.

“Take me to him.”


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys, I'm really happy you all liked this story. I hope you all like the second and last part too <3 This time, on Lucifer's POV ohohoho~
> 
> Have fun!

**II.**

He was bored. _So, so bored_.

Even for his immortal standards, the days were passing too slowly. He kept putting everything in order - wondering why hell was such a mess - and even that turned out to be monotonous. The demons were happy to have him back barking orders and demanding discipline - figures.

Sometimes, while walking through the ashy corridors, he could hear his name being called. Sometimes with one of his brother’s voice, others with a woman’s voice he didn’t remember whom it was. Even curious with the situation, he acted uncharacteristically safe and retreated to his quarters as soon it started.

A door was calling for him.

He didn’t understand how or why, _but a door was calling for him_. Deep inside himself there was guilt enough that even Hell had prepared something for his own Lord. And Lucifer couldn’t pint-point the root of the problem. The more he thought about it, the less he understood.

Until he shrugged his worries away, deciding that if he didn’t remember than it never happened, right?

Day after day, he saw Hell return to its patterns. All the cells and guilty loops were working flawlessly, punishing the wicked souls with the efficiency envied by the most advanced technology. Everybody knew he was back (and why the bloody hell he didn’t remember anything of this hypothetic time he was away? Seriously), the demons and the souls alike. Sometimes Hell worked just like a High School gossip network, in which everyone talked about the topic of his return and at each stop something different was added to the admirable tale of the Devil’s majestic return. In some versions he had returned inside a ball of fire, capable of destroying the dimensions’ boundaries between Earth and Hell effortlessly; in others, he floated back to the underworld with his burnt skin and yellow eyes visible to whoever looked, with lightening exploding behind him as blinding white lights.

Seriously. Demons could be worse than teenagers!

Anyway, Lucifer wondered daily where Maze could be and what she could be doing. It had become clear that she wasn’t going to be there with him anytime soon, and after creating her and being with her ever since, it was difficult to be there without the demon having his back.

For some days he tried to party like he always did, even if it was too silent to make him get in the mood, but without a clear reason why he couldn’t enjoy anything. There was something inside him dissatisfied with the absolute silence and even more with the carnal way his succubus looked at him (which begged the question: was he sick?). It was like his body wouldn’t and couldn’t respond to their sexual stimulus, something he had never experienced before.

At some point, the silence won over his prudish reactions, and he could only yearn for instruments on this wretched place. He missed playing so bad!

He would lay down on his bed sometimes even if there was no night or day in Hell, and started pondering restlessly over the emptiness present inside himself. He couldn’t understand it. It felt different than his average empty feelings, those moments when his emotions just left him for no mensurable time after an explosion of rage and self-hatred. It felt like something was just missing, leaving him with a hole on his chest – figuratively speaking, of course.

And day in day out, while living through all those thoughts and chores to do, months passed and the Lord of Hell was so damn annoyed with his boring routine that he entertained the idea of breaking his word for the first time ever and going up to Earth to have some fun. He fantasied about every kind of scenario in which he always had at least a moment to middle-finger his Dad just for good measure.  

And yet, he never left.

Then he began to fly around. Floating mindlessly, sight-seeing all those corridors from above and getting his wings full of ash – wings that felt wrong for no apparent reason. At some point he just ignored the wrongness and started to fly nonstop, distracting his mind and exerting his body only for the peace of mind to sleep as soon as he would lay his head over his pillow.  After all, opening his wings widely and floating around without restraints made he feel like, in some way, he could taste freedom – at least, the most of it he would ever get.

After all, he was the Lord of Hell, sentenced to rule the underworld and do nothing else.

And then, after almost a year of getting crazier and crazier over having nothing left to do, something unexpected happened.

He got visitors.

 _Alive_ visitors.

-

-

He was lounging on his throne. One leg over one armrest and his torso being supported by the other. He was dressed in a purple three-piece suit with a white undershirt with the two top buttons open. He was whistling while taking little sips of the delicious wine he had kept from his last visit to France, distracted and not really caring to the list of things a tiny demon was reading out loud beside him. It was one of those moments that he really whished for Maze to be there. Previously, she was the one responsible to update him on every chore, and sure enough to shoo the other demons away.

But now, he had to do it all by himself, and it was so _tiring_ …

Ignoring his duties started to happen more often than not. Such a bore, really.

Then there was a little commotion down the aisle, raised voices approaching rapidly on the other side of the door, and he felt like killing them all for disturbing his boredom. The little demon squeaked nervously with the ruckus, trying to keep his focus on the list of things it’s Lord should be doing for the day.

 _“Get your hands off me, Lilith!”_ He perked a bit when he recognized the voice that reached his ears. “ _Did you forget who I am? Do you really want to test me?!”_ Giddiness started to bubble inside him, because it couldn’t be who he thought it was.

“ _Seriously, Mazikeen! You’ve been out for decades and now you’re going to just barge in? You are insufferable!”_ Lilith, his second in charge during that year without his dear Mazikeen, complained unhappily.

Some wrestling and cursing sounds later, and his most loyal demon kicked the doors to his throne room open with a mess of hair and blood tickling from her mouth. He couldn’t hide his wide grin even if he had tried.

The little demon squeaked again in fright, staring in horror at Maze and running away as soon as she passed through the doorstep, throwing the list over his back prioritizing his life more than the paper.

Oh, how he had missed her calming presence!

“Mazikeen!” Lucifer cheered, rising his glass in greeting. There was a mix of emotions on her face that he couldn’t decipher, but no matter, this moment was a moment of celebrating! “I was wondering why you wasn’t here with me!”

She made a bee line to him with hard steps, and as soon as she reached him she took the Devil by his collar and rose Lucifer from his throne. Her face was closed off, not betraying any emotion, and her moves were as harsh as he remembered them to be.

He wasn’t surprised at all with the abruptness, so Lucifer kept his wide grin in place with mirth. It was like feeling at home, after all.

And then something that he never, _ever_ expected suddenly happened and made he question the absurdity of his life nowadays: Maze, _the Mazikeen_ , the demon that controlled all physical punishments on this place and took real pleasure in breaking people down, crumbled in tears and pulled him to a hard hug.

_What._

“Lucifer!” She sniffed, trying despairingly to hide her face on the crook of his neck and failing miserably, their difference in height a bit worse than she remembered. “Damn you for being so tall!” She complained wetly. He snorted.

“I must say, I wasn’t expecting this level of emotion from you.” He commented lightly, returning her embrace slowly, almost afraid of getting cooties. “But, don’t fret, Lucifer is here to save your day!”

She laughed, pushing him and punching his shoulder without any real force. “Smartass.” Maze smirked, cleaning her face with her wrist roughly, sniffing while looking down on him to save face.

“So, where were you?” Lucifer questioned curiously, taking another sip from his drink and sitting down again.

She sobered instantly, something passing through her eyes that Lucifer couldn’t identify – and when did she become such an enigma to him? “Los Angeles.” Maze answered like it was nothing, staring at her nails with disinterest.

He grinned, whistling with wonder. “The City of Angels, really? Wasn’t expecting that.” He laughed, mirth dancing on his eyes, and one of her eyebrows twitched.

“You were there too.” And when she said it, he only looked at her quizzically, while Maze smirked with superiority, feeling good knowing something he didn’t.

“A few decades ago on Earth years, yeah.” He agreed, staring at her like she had lost her mind while she had been away. It wouldn’t be such a surprise, after all. Imagine that, Maze on Earth? Why he didn’t hear about mass murders or the biggest orgies of history?

“No.” She denied, rolling her eyes and sobering again, clearly instable on her emotions. She decided it wasn’t time to elaborate, there were more pressing matters she should get to. “Lucifer, we have some problems. I’ve came with Amenadiel and with a friend… But, Amenadiel was urged inside a door, and Hell’s walls moved before I could do a thing to avoid being separate from our friend. We have to find both!”

There were so many wrong things on that request, that Lucifer stared at Maze with a gaped mouth.

“Amenadiel? A friend? Maze, what the hell happened to you?” He was incredulous, getting up from his throne to look at her better. “My Maze wouldn’t walk with Amenadiel – well, fly with him, nor would have some mysterious friend incapable of walking on Hell…” He stopped his tirade, the gears working inside his head. Maze knew the exact moment when he deduced what kind of friend it was. “Oh, oh! Bloody Hell. It’s a living human. A human that shouldn’t be here at all, isn’t it?” He asked, a mixture of giddiness and horror flowing inside him. Then, almost like he didn’t catch everything on the first time, “And what the hell happened to Amenadiel being called by a door _and getting into it_?’

She couldn’t control it, even if things were a mess, with Hell’s own way of doing things behind everyone’s back, and even if she was worried about Chloe and Amenadiel…

She laughed.

She laughed a lot, enough to feel her belly ache and to have tears forming on her eyes. Lucifer looked at her puzzled and surprised, not used to see her so care-free… And open.

“Well, you’ve gone insane.” He joked, sipping the rest of his drink, looking at her unbelievingly. She was so different, it was hard to associate the Maze he remembered to this one.

“I never thought I would say this, but I missed you.” She commented, her laugh slowly stopping while she cleaned her mirth tears with her fingers. “But if you tell anyone, I will kill you.” She warned him, frowning menacing, and _that_ Lucifer knew!

“Tell what?” He questioned innocently, throwing his glass over his shoulder not caring one bit to it breaking in a million pieces.

“Good. Now, lets go. You will understand in time.” And she pulled him with her.

-

-

They flew. It was the easiest and fastest way to find Chloe, whom was in more danger than Amenadiel after all. Hell wasn’t a place for a living human. For souls it was already dangerous enough, for a living person it was deadly.

“Who is this friend of yours?” Lucifer asked, while they searched every corridor with attentive eyes. Maze, held by his arms, scoffed.

“Such a pain in the ass, as prude as they come.” She complained, pouting. Lucifer chortled, surprised.

“You are not someone to have friends, to begin with, and now you are saying to me you befriended a saint?” He snorted, imagining how they would interact with each other. He could bet Maze embarrassed this person often enough.

It would make him so proud!

“You befriended her too, you idiot.” She answered grumpily, and that shut him up momentarily. Those enigmatic things she kept saying created a discomfort inside him, almost like his body and mind were warring each other over the domain of sensations. He took a few seconds to figurately straighten up.

“Oh Maze, this time you took away from hell confused your mind surely.” As soon as he ended, he grunted when she put a well-placed elbow to his ribcage. “Careful, or I might let you fall!” He chastised without heat, not really meaning it.

“Yeah, right, so scary.” She mumbled.

_Lucifer…_

In the distance, he heard the woman’s voice calling for him. He flinched minutely, not enough to the demon on his arms to notice. That damn door was calling again!

Then, Maze noticed something different with her periphery vision and turned her head enough to see a blonde hair running between a maze of corridors. “There!” She pointed, and Lucifer looked to the same direction she was pointing to. The golden locks jumped while the human ran, and again something inside him choked uncomfortably, suffocating him briefly.

_Lucifer…_

They dived, and while they approached Hell’s walls, Lucifer could hear the door calling for him again, more strongly than before.

_Lucifer…_

He ignored it and continued to fly at the human, approaching her quickly. Her scent reaching his nostrils, and an explosive headache appeared and vanished too fast – surprising him and making him gulp down the groan that tried to escape his throat.

Before he could have dropped Maze, she jumped from his arms as soon as she saw what her friend was running from.

“Chloe!” Maze shouted, falling to the ground elegantly and running after the hellhounds that were chasing the other woman. “Hey boys, missed me?” She growled, a pleasure glint on her dark eyes and an excited laugh leaving her gasping mouth.

That name stirred something inside of Lucifer, making him feel like something was suffocating him from inside. Suddenly he felt uncomfortable, like he shouldn’t be doing any of this.

But it didn’t make any sense.

_Lucifer…_

“Get her, Lucifer! I’m going to take care of these!” Maze shouted gleefully, shaking Lucifer from his inner thoughts.

“Okey Dokey!” He answered, intrigued, confused, and then he flew even faster, his wings occupying the erratic corridor where they were, and soon enough he was getting the human on his arms and going up brusquely. She screamed, surprised, and latched on him like her life depended on it.

Well, it kind of did.

“Lucifer!” She breathed, looking at him with an intense mix of feelings that he was not expecting. His own mind went into overdrive when he noticed her voice was so like the one the door used to call him. Who was he kidding? It was the exact same. “Oh, Lucifer!” She repeated, her relief soon turning on sobs and what the hell was happening?

“Well, not that I’m not happy with the proximity and for our apparent intimacy, but… Do I know you?” He asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a tiny confused grin.

She laughed, the sound wet from her crying. “With or without your memories, you are such an ass!” She giggled, soon turning to sobs again. It appeared not only him was confused around here.

But what she said made him stop midair, to float there with her on his arms staring at the fragile thing on his embrace with so much intensity that his heart missed a beat.  

“What?” He asked numbly, chuckling nervously.

Howls were heard from the distance, and he looked back briefly. Maze was sure disciplining the hounds, poor things.

“I missed you.” The whispered admission was almost not heard under the sounds of howls and shouts he could hear from his hounds and most loyal Demon. It was said so lowly and softly… But he heard it nonetheless.

“Do I know you?” He asked brusquely, again, and what he got was a perfect view of the most beautiful face he had ever seen, with the most majestic blue eyes filled with unshed tears staring back at him with so much pain and _love_ and-

He couldn’t take it.

With his heart on his mouth, he dived again, and the _fucking trust_ she had in him showed by the way she clutched his torso with a synchrony he didn’t think a strange person could ever have and she didn’t make any sound, burying her face on his chest and crying some more.

It was too much.

He landed near his castle, where he knew they would be safe. Not that in his company she was on any immediate danger, but, well, it was better here than between all those doors, near that voice that called for him... _Her_ voice, his mind whispered.

She kept her hold on him even when he let her go, and he stared at the beautiful woman latched to him with curiosity and foreboding. Somehow, the reactions of his body weren’t the ones he expected from a situation like this. There was no rush to seduce her or to take advantage of the situation, he only felt compelled to make things better – to see her happy. The way his body molded to hers, it was almost like it’s memory was overriding his own mind, the one that whispered confused questions of what was happening and who she was.

“Who are you?” He asked voicing his doubts, hesitant, feeling a mix of insecurity and fascination that he didn’t know if he liked much. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to be so confused and… Afraid. It was almost like his core was warning him about getting too near.

Like, somehow, being near her had already caused too much pain – why risk it again?

She sniffed, cleaning her tears with one of her wrists and smiling up at him with a watery grin.

She was magnificent. Absolutely, resolutely magnificent.

And there was not a single sign of carnal fascination on her eyes, something so _new_ and _refreshing_ that it was hard to resist.

He was doomed.

“I’m Chloe Decker, silly.” She joked, putting a golden lock of hair behind her right ear and staring at him with her soul bared open through her eyes, her beautiful almost celestial eyes. He was speechless, mesmerized by her, and risking himself didn’t seem something so bothersome anymore. “I’m a Detective of LAPD, and during the last couple years we were partners. You were my Civilian Consultant.” She continued softly, reaching her other hand to his face, caressing his cheek with her thumb and searching his eyes for _something_ \- “You were such an ass, really, but you made me a better Detective anyway.” She was warm. Her touch was soft, caring. The familiar way she talked to him, she touched him… The way she looked at him. It all caused controversial feelings inside Lucifer. He didn’t understand what she was saying.

Or maybe he didn’t _want_ to.

“What are you talking about?” He croaked, staring at her intensely, his body at ease under her attention but his mind raging against this affection, fearing it – fearing the results. He was so damn conflicted!

She sighed, caressing his lips with her thumb and gaining a gasp from him with the act. Somehow, the intimacy between them was so much deeper than anyone he had ever interacted with. How could that be possible? He didn’t know her, right?

“We seem to be always mismatched.” She said wistfully, and then she dropped her hand and took a step back from his grasp, giving him space even when her body language gave him the impression she was reluctant to do it.  

He noticed with surprise that his body already missed her warmth.

“Chloe!” Their moment was shattered with Maze’s shout, and the blonde woman looked to her right to see the demon approaching them, with a few more gashes and blood around her clothes and body – but a satisfied smile in place, anyway. And for Lucifer’s endless surprise, Maze _hugged_ the woman. “Shit! Way to go girl!” She cheered, and Chloe laughed. “Never thought I would say something like this, but you made the hellhounds eat dust!” And then Maze took a step back, laughing with mirth. Chloe snorted, amusement shining brightly on her blue eyes, even if she seemed subdued after distancing herself from him.

“Wait until we tell Trixie about it.” Chloe joked, and something inside him stirred again. That name… He felt it was familiar, an image of a child blinking fast on his mind eye. But, who in their right mind would name a child with a hooker name? “Kidding, I’m not telling her about beastly dogs that chased me with the intention of eating me alive.” Chloe sobered.

But it only lasted for a few seconds, and soon after both women were giggling.

Lucifer passed his shaking hand through his hair, messing it more than the wind had. This situation was crazier than he was used to, and something he didn’t know what was happening. It was getting more frustrating than all his years on hell.

“Look, not meaning to interrupt, but actually doing it, we still have to find Amenadiel.” Lucifer mumbled, giving his back to both and staring mindlessly at the ashen sky. There was something in the back of his mind trying to break free… He could almost put a finger on it…

“Yeah, right.” Chloe agreed, and Maze snickered, interrupting his fleeting concentration.

“Let’s go.” Maze called, and both Chole and Lucifer followed her lead, the later with conflict written all over his face, and the former quietly observing him with a yearning affection.

-

-

He didn’t know what to think. Maze was different, _too different_ from what he remembered. There was not a reasonable explanation why he didn’t know what everyone kept talking about, and why there seemed to be a gap of time between what he remembered and what had been happening during this last year in Hell.

Why Mazikeen was here and suddenly wasn’t, why the place was an absolute mess from side to side from day to night and why the demons got happy he was _back_ …? Had he gone away, in the first place? On his mind, there was _before_ and _after_ , but he couldn’t pint-point the turning point. He remembered wanting to get out of hell, being done with it; and then he was accepting his servitude, believing his Father’s word of a deal made by them.

His head started to hurt again, and wasn’t that a new thing?

Until now, he had only hurt like this when he fell or after a fight with one of his brothers or his demons.  

“Here, I can sense his suffering from this cell.” Maze said quietly, interrupting him again and Lucifer rubbed his hand over his eyes, trying to lessen the pain. “Chloe, stay with me.” The demon warned, and the blonde woman looked at him before doing what was asked.

She was worried for him.

“Well, lets do this, right?” Lucifer faked cheerfulness, and he was the first to open the door and to enter it.

-

-

“Which do you prefer, Samael?” The strong male voice echoed through the white walls, opulent, making everything around them tremble while frozen in time.

Chloe gasped behind him, like she knew the place.

Lucifer knew the voice that shook everything, and when he looked around a dark feeling crept inside his chest.  His headache intensified, making it hard for him to concentrate.

“Luci…” Amenadiel whispered with shared agony, and it was so obvious that this situation had been eating him alive. Tear tracks were left on his cheeks, and his eyes were red and still filled with tears.

“You bastard…” The Lucifer from the loop cursed and closed his dark brown eyes with force, and the fallen angel felt nauseous. His mind rebelled against seeing this scene, but his body was frozen on the spot. Was this the flight-or-fight kind of situation a lot of humans talked about? “What is the _point_? What is your big plan?” His other self asked weakly, frustrated, clearly trying to understand the purpose of it all. Lucifer could see his own tortured soul in front of him, a faithful picture created by his brother’s detailed memories.

His mind ordered him to look away, to not watch the unveiling scene – but he was a rebellious being, wasn’t he?

“Father’s plans are his own to know, brother.” Raphael’s voice pronounced lowly, contained, like he too wasn’t happy with it all, and Lucifer felt his heart miss a beat. What Raphael was doing here?

And then _he saw._

The other Archangel stood beside _Chloe’s_ bed, the same woman that right now stood beside him very much alive and pale, was laying almost dead on that hospital bed, connected to so many wires and tubes that it was hard _to see_ her under so much machinery.

He felt out of air. He gasped in agony.

“You must choose, son.” His Father’s voice boomed from everywhere, a presence on every particle of Earth. Amenadiel flinched, his face morphed into a haunted expression. “Chloe’s safety, or your free will.”

Chloe sobbed, her tiny hands incapable of muffling the sound even when pressing so hard against her mouth.

And that just did the trick.

“What is this?” Lucifer asked, tense, an animalistic tune behind his superficial amicability. Amenadiel, having heard Chloe sobs already and now hearing Lucifer’s question, was once and for all awake from the illusion to their presence. His eyes widened in horror.

It didn’t stop the loop from continuing.

“You better explain this to me this instant, Amenadiel!” He growled, his yellow eyes returning with a vengeance. He was ready to pounce his brother, whom was frozen in the middle of the room, petrified, with guilt and horror written all over his face.

And then, his own voice, broken just as the day he asked to his Father if free will was such a bad thing to ask for, answered. “You already know my answer… I choose Chloe’s safety.” He had muttered brokenly, with unshed tears, his big hand trembling so slightly.  And the resolution on his other self eyes created a foreboding feeling on him, one that crept up his spine and burned his heart as hot as hell flames.

He felt it coming. His whole being started to shake.

Amenadiel closed his eyes, tears falling unbidden. Raphael’s hands started to glow a pure white light while he looked saddened to the other Lucifer, longing on his eyes like he wanted to heal his brother too. And after a few seconds of silence, God pronounced with fatality. “Very well.”

And in a flash, the Lucifer from the loop was gone from the room.

“From now on, Samael won’t remember anything from the last six years.” God’s voice boomed again. Raphael cured Chloe slowly.  

Amenadiel sobbed brokenly.

And Lucifer saw _red_.

-

-

There was a reason for Lucifer being the Devil.

It was not only because he rebelled against God’s laws, or why he had greedily asked for more than the Archangels deserved – or were planned to have. It all was part of the motive, yes, but the real problem was that, at some point, Samael had reached a level of power so near his Father’s that he became a threat.

His energy of creation became too much, and his rebellious ideas threatened to shatter the tight balance Heaven had reached after the creation of Humanity.

He had to go.

And then he was forced to fall, to rule Hell. Only someone so strong and powerful like him could create a place like it, with its cells and living walls, with its capacity of organizing itself to accommodate more and more souls without a conscious thought from him.

And he stayed there for thousands of years, serving his Father like a disciplined puppy, dealing with the scum of the same race that instilled on him the notion of free will. He was forced to see how they had the luxury of making their own choices, and how they throwed it all away doing _bad_ things.

He became _Lucifer_.

So, at that moment, when his Father’s schemes were so openly showed by Amenadiel’s guilty trip, something inside Lucifer _broke_.

The dam that had always contained his power, the same power God had feared as an equal, broke with a snap, and he screamed with a rage so great that his wings opened together with his arms, and from his body flames erupted. He felt his skin being licked all over again, and the pain of being roasted alive attacked him everywhere.

And he just didn’t care.

“Luci!” Amenadiel shouted, but he didn’t care. His scream of rage was torturing his throat, but he didn’t care.

A sound of explosion surrounded him, and he didn’t care that he had destroyed the cell by his force alone.

And then, out of nowhere, fragile arms surrounded his torso, a gasp of pain and the smell of burnt flesh – different from his – got his attention momentarily.

“Lucifer… Please!” Chloe begged, pressing her face to his back between his shoulder blades, between his pristine white wings. The fact that her voice was the one calling for him during all that year suddenly made so much sense. “Come back to me, please!” She begged.

 _She was hurting._ He could feel her pain from _so close_. She was being destroyed together with him…

Because she wanted to.

Because, for some reason, this beautiful woman had _chosen_ to.

She had chosen him.

“Chloe!” He heard Maze and Amenadiel desperate cries, and it was like the beast inside him, the one that was _hurting so much_ , whined pitifully that _it didn’t want to hurt Chloe - never Chloe_.

The flames died. The rage vanished. There was only him and her arms covered with third degree burns and her tiny whimpers against his back. His skin returned to its human appearance, his eyes to its dark hues.

He turned slowly, carefully, taking her arms with his hands and staring at how hurt she was. She was crying quietly, but what made Lucifer actually cry _too_ was the loving smile on her lips.

“How can you look at me that way after all this?” He whispered hoarsely, pulling one of his biggest feathers from his wings and bringing it near her ribcage. “You saw it all. My true form, my wings. You know I’m the Devil. You saw how my Father meddled with our lives. How can you still…” He couldn’t continue, her weak legs trembled too much, and she was clearly so near of collapsing he couldn’t see her suffering like that anymore.

And still she stared at him with _so much_ _affection_.

Her watery smile, the pain only visible by the tense inflections of her face - she was forcing herself to be there for him even being so hurt.

That same _love_ that he had seen on her eyes, the windows to her soul, appeared on every little detail of her, and he couldn’t lose it.

No, he just couldn’t.

He pushed his feather to her heart with his open palm, filling it with an extension of his light. Since the creation of the stars, he had never felt like Samael again – except on that moment, when his light covered her whole body from inside and every wound was healed slowly, bit by bit, almost like his feather was caressing every bit of her body piece by piece until nothing hurt anymore.

It was just them. Her brilliant smile as soon as his light vanished. His thundering heart.

“Who am I?” He whispered, staring at her eyes with fascination. Somehow, he didn’t care anymore who she was... Only who _he was_ to her.

He didn’t know it was possible, but her smile widened and became even more beautiful.

 _It was almost like she was heaven sent_.

“You are Lucifer Morningstar, my partner.” She whispered back, circling his torso again with her thin healed arms and approaching his face with hers. “The Devil on vacant hours, a Civilian Consultant during homicide cases and owner of a night club called Lux during the boring nights on Earth.” She grinned, her breath mingling with his. “You are also the archangel Samael, but who is really counting?” And she kissed him.

Her lips touched his softly, brushing against his for only a moment – so briefly it felt like a touch of another angel.

And with a gasp, his memories returned all at once.

“ _Lucifer Morningstar… Is that uh- a stage name or something?”_

Their first encounter.

_“I don’t wanna die…”_

_“I won’t let you.”_

Their first case together.

“ _Lucifer, what are you doing?!... Lucifer!”_

The first time she stopped one of his raging moments, the one he throwed that manager through the glass and would have done worse if it wasn’t for her.

“ _Let me make myself perfectly clear. I will never, ever, ever sleep with you. Never. Ok? Got it?”_

_“Playing hard to get, I like it.”_

_“When hell freezes over, Lucifer.”_

Their banter.

“ _Do I scare you?”_

_“No.”_

Never, never scared. Always open, always friendly.

“ _I’m here for you. I thought you could use a friend._ ”

Never leaving him to his loneliness.

“ _I’m not here to arrest you, Lucifer. I know you are innocent, I always have.”_

The first person to see the _good_ in him.

“ _Lucifer, this is your home. I’ve always been on your side_.”

When she saved Lux, even when he thought he had already lost it.

When he died for her that night with Malcom, or when she needed the formula of the antidote to the mad professor’s poison…

Their first kiss.

His resolve to tell her everything, to give her the chance to choose if she really wanted him after understanding who he really was. All their moments, his motivations and feelings came back, like they never were missing at all - only hiding on the depths of his mind waiting for her to unlock it.

Then, on the next second, he was kissing her back, holding her by her waist and deepening the kiss like a starved man in front of a banquet. A warm feeling engulfed him whole, and the connection he felt to her created a tingling sensation on his body.

Her body flushed to his, their mouths connected with adoration, passion, her whole being _alive and well_ right there with him.

This was perfection. Absolute, never ending perfection.

When they separated, both out of breath, Lucifer smirked. Staring at her with mirth on his eyes he concentrated for a bit.

Chloe soon saw the reason behind it.

“Lucifer!” She half chastised half laughed, too happy with the meaning of what happened right there, with the recognition she saw on his eyes, with the feel of him with her and with his boyish antics that were _so much him_.

“What did you say that other time? Hm…” He hummed, kissing her softly before continuing, still glued to her mouth. “When hells freezes over?”

Chloe laughter filled him, and it was hard to believe that they finally were on the same page.

And maybe now, God wanting or not, they would finally write their history together.


End file.
